And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Actually, I take that back. You can only have it if I'm allowed to French braid the mullet.
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
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