You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
These bathrooms are miraculous. I'd love to have sex in here. Wow. I've peed 5 times.
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
