I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
