if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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