I bet he comes in French.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
