please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
