i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I want her autograph on my taint
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
