Screwed.edu
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
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