Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
