he referred to my room as the tit cave...
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Sorry I wasn't opportunistic about sucking your dick in an Uber last night
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
