well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
