It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
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