who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
