come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
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