wake up i wanna do it froggy style
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Randomize
