STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
