I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
Randomize
