just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
My farts smell like St. Pauli Girl. Last night was too much for a Monday.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Randomize
