"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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