Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Hey cutie is the game almost over? I'm making dinner for us it'll be ready soon. Xox
You would rather make fucking dinner than watch a hockey game that rivals the epic-ness of miracle, the one of the biggest upsets in sport history? Babe I don't know if I can date a girl with such terrible priorities.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
