I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
You came down the stairs dressed as winnie the pooh and kicking cups off the table and out of people's hands
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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