I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
