Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
