I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Remember that picture you sent me of you trying to eat the flower arrangement in the bathroom at that restaurant?
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
