what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
50% drunk capacity currently
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
Randomize
