We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
