then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
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