I did something stupid with eggs call me when you get up. Cops were also involved.
My pussy is not your playground.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Why is there bacon braided in my hair
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
sorry for laughing and taking pictures while you were having an asthma attack on st. patricks day
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
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