Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
We named our party play list daddy issues
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
I wanted to waterboard myself with beer, but no one would give me their shirt to do it.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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