Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Randomize
