party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
He told me he was gonna go wash a trailer and somehow I ended up eating vodka fruit with children in a green bean field.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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