Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Randomize