: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
Do you think this 2 hour Amazon delivery thing works on vibrators? Cause that would be clutch
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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