Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
Randomize
