When they say "all expenses paid" does that include bail?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
It was drunk tag. I was Alice in wonderland chasing a ballerina who was chasing Lance Armstrong who had needles in his arms.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
