Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
