I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
Randomize
