i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Randomize
