You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
