You can't motorboat a personality
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
should my penis look like a turkey
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
