I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
He? As in you personified your dick?
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
A dozen naked frat boys in squirrel masks just ran by. Welcome to the official start of the holidays.
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