do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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