come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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