and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
