I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
my nurturing instincts told me to take his clothes off
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
