So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Randomize
