sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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