All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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