I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commercials.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize
