i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
My boyfriend just called me on his poop break from work.... Is that what you meant by moving too fast?
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
