Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
I understand Curling. That high.
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
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